Oh My God! The decluttering!! it was awful, so very awful. It was 2 hours of TORTURE! It felt like AND amounted to what I always feared a BLITZ CLEAN would be like, which was the very reason I chose to go with this charity over a blitz clean in the first place. I've seem a blitz clean being carried out before, they liturally strip your home bare! & these guys did a pretty good job of that too!
And as I feared, they DIDN'T know what was rubbish & what was not. Not only was my front door left WIDE open for all and sundry to see my shame, but one of the declutterers actually decided to put on their protective overalls just OUTSIDE my front door too.
All the things I stored on the stairs for safe keeping, until I could sort through them were just thrown away!! Love letters from my past was discarded as useless bits of paper, paperwork from college days, my childhood things, sentimental things of my children's were all just dumped into a rubbish bin bag. Other things were emptied out of their boxes that kept them safe & clean and the boxes thrown away.
Oh God! it was so awful I can't explain. If I didn't have this to turn to, to get it all off my chest I don't know what I would be doing right now. Huddled up in a corner crying my eyes out no doubt. I was holding back the tears & praying that they would just leave.
I was kinda optimistic about the charity coming today. I thought I would have more say & control over my things. I thought they would sit with me & go through things that I wanted to keep & those that I wanted to get rid of. But it wasn't like that at all. They decided what was to stay & go, & pretty much chucked everything in sight, especially the 2nd declutterer who was very trigger happy (wrong expression I'm sure) with anything that crossed her path & indiscriminately binned most everything there was.
Occasionally something was deemed not complete rubbish & I was then handed the odd box or bag to sort through. In the end I couldn't watch anymore & stayed down stairs most of the time, so God know's what I've actually lost??? Decluttering a hoarders house shouldn't be about grabbing everything in sight & binning it!! If that's what I wanted I could of achieved the same results in 2 hours myself.
I don't want them to come back, but I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'm so stuck in this impossible situation, where I'm doomed if I do & doomed if I don't. It really wasn't the kind of help I was expecting & it's not the kind of help I wanted. Yet I have to accept it because so much relies on it. My children coming back to me, & avoiding threats of possible eviction. I should be greatful that someone is giving actual practical help but the wound inflicted from what felt like more or less blatant disregard today is still all too fresh.
If I was rich (*"Yubby dibby dibby diibby dibby dibby dibby dum!"*) I'd hire a team of cleaners & set out the criteria that they should stick to & if they didn't they'd be out! But I'm not rich, nor (after making several attempts to explain why the things on the stairs was there & why they weren't rubbish & as such should not be chucked) do I feel in a position to achieve such results. I was pretty much reminded that the place "has" to be cleared & to be strong etc etc.
I think when people see things covered in dirt & grime they automatically think rubbish, bin it. While I on the other hand know for a fact that a bit of soap & water can do wonders. There's also the misconception that if you have a whole load of things piling up that not only must that means it's rubbish but also that there's no room for it & thus is it too has to be binned. While i know alot of thing things thrown out of my place today did have a place (in the kitchen, bathroom, whatever) & I would of much rather been given the option to place them there rather.
I think I lost 85% - 90% of my things stored on the stairs. Like I said some bags & boxes were handed to me, but not nearly enough. & the whole goal seemed to be clear the space rather than what I was expecting of sort & organise the things. Again I cannot stress how awful it was for me.
I hope tomorrow (or even in a few more hours) I will be feeling better & less upset about everything that happened today. Now I'm off to eat some chocolate as I need something to make me feel better. Yes! I comfort eat & am thus over weight.
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