I noticed as I stared at a pile of clutter today thinking how am I gonna deal with this, that I actually need someone with me to talk me through where to put things. My brain just goes kinda fuzzy & overwhelmed with trying to make the simplest decisions about where things should go. Eg; I was looking at a camera today piled on top of a heap of clothes & letters etc. I was just staring at it thinking where should I put the camera, & even now still I don't know. I have a feeling of failure if I put it in the "wrong" place but can't think what is the right place?? in these situation I will usually just put it in a box or bag & leave it at one side for dealing with later. But that's no real plan either, for now I have piles of boxes & bags full of stuff that I couldn't decide where they should go. Things are piled up on my tables, sofa's & chairs for that same reason. All put aside for later because I couldn't make a decision there & then.
I need someone to organise or help me organise my home so that I have a sense where everything should go. To create order without throwing everything away.
Edit: Just watched a film called The Way Back. Not only did the title of the movie really speak to me, but the whole movie itself felt really inspiring & motivating too. The courage & resilients of the human spirit to make it back, through everything they went through, the hardships & the sufferings. They kept going. Just made me think if they came do that (& you know there are real people like that out there) then one way or another so can I. I CAN keep going, no matter how hard it feels/is, until this place is sorted out. Lets hope this feeling last! lol.
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