I can not stress enough how someone suffering from compulsive hoarding should have their privacy preserved, & treated with respect, dignity & understanding. Humiliating type of exposure is akin to "exposure therapy" in that it serves no greater purpose than to desensitise & free the sufferer from the very thing that was helping them to not get any worse than they already are.
When your whole world is turned upside down, your pride & dignity lost. It changes you for the worst. You stop giving an eff & sink down lower.
Thursday 7 July 2011
Friday 1 July 2011
Disorder's Life #23 - Housing problems
Feeling depressed today. Housing support worker for whom my tenancy is with, came round today, saying my housing officer has had complaints about my cats in the garden. When there are numerous other cats in the neighbourhood who also enter my garden & my front porch (which my own cats don't have access too) & using the stone gravel as their litter tray.
Then the housing support worker said he was thinking of closing my case because there was another housing support worker from an independent organisation seeing me as well. Now, this other housing support worker was referred to me by my housing officer who is trying to get me evicted! This other housing support worker was there to do the housing officer's dirty work, in that he did nothing but put undue pressure on me to clean up WITHOUT offering any help or support, preferring to use what felt like to me threats & intimidation instead of understanding etc.
This tactic will no doubt ONLY lead to me being evicted, because I already suffering from depression & anxiety on top of the compulsive hoarding. So you can just imagine how helpful that approach is going to be for my mental well being & functionality. All it actually results in is making me freeze, sink into myself & give up.
Life is getting quite difficult at the moment. There's so much stuff going on, that I really want to talk about concerning my children, social services & court cases. But I don't think it's wise right now because who knows who's reading my blog. I made the mistake, when I first started journaling & not really knowing what direction it would take me, of giving out blog details to some of the professionals I started working with, mainly the charitable organisation for decluttering. Now, they are in liaison with over professionals who might well take offence to my thoughts on how I & my children/family are being dealt with & have been treated. So though I long to go into greater detail, I shan't!
What's really upsetting to me is how is seems that people seem to think I want this, that I want my garden to be over grown & covered in cat poop, that I want my home to be riddled with vermin & insects & dirty & smells & junk... the list goes on. The fact is, I'm fucking struggling here! I'm fucking struggling & drowning with the weight of it all.
I spoke to the main person for the decluttering charity. I said I wanted to move all the smaller items out of the living room into one of the bedrooms, & then work on deluttering from there. But was told they need to write reports on how the decluttering is going etc.... God! I so SO wish I could do this on my own, my OWN way. I'm so fucking screwed.
As you can tell I'm not feeling optimistic today.
Then the housing support worker said he was thinking of closing my case because there was another housing support worker from an independent organisation seeing me as well. Now, this other housing support worker was referred to me by my housing officer who is trying to get me evicted! This other housing support worker was there to do the housing officer's dirty work, in that he did nothing but put undue pressure on me to clean up WITHOUT offering any help or support, preferring to use what felt like to me threats & intimidation instead of understanding etc.
This tactic will no doubt ONLY lead to me being evicted, because I already suffering from depression & anxiety on top of the compulsive hoarding. So you can just imagine how helpful that approach is going to be for my mental well being & functionality. All it actually results in is making me freeze, sink into myself & give up.
Life is getting quite difficult at the moment. There's so much stuff going on, that I really want to talk about concerning my children, social services & court cases. But I don't think it's wise right now because who knows who's reading my blog. I made the mistake, when I first started journaling & not really knowing what direction it would take me, of giving out blog details to some of the professionals I started working with, mainly the charitable organisation for decluttering. Now, they are in liaison with over professionals who might well take offence to my thoughts on how I & my children/family are being dealt with & have been treated. So though I long to go into greater detail, I shan't!
What's really upsetting to me is how is seems that people seem to think I want this, that I want my garden to be over grown & covered in cat poop, that I want my home to be riddled with vermin & insects & dirty & smells & junk... the list goes on. The fact is, I'm fucking struggling here! I'm fucking struggling & drowning with the weight of it all.
I spoke to the main person for the decluttering charity. I said I wanted to move all the smaller items out of the living room into one of the bedrooms, & then work on deluttering from there. But was told they need to write reports on how the decluttering is going etc.... God! I so SO wish I could do this on my own, my OWN way. I'm so fucking screwed.
As you can tell I'm not feeling optimistic today.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)